Autoerotic Asphyxia and Memory Recovery in Aging Males

I think it was Oreo’s fault. We were doing fine finishing off a nice group going through Giant City, Cobden, Alto, and Pomona. Trippin’ back from Von Jacob’s I hit a brick in downtown Pomona and  flatted, near the trailer of Oreo, demon dog from hell. Oreo has two confirmed bites on cyclists, eighteen calls to Jackson County Animal Control, but is still often on the loose and looking to bite cyclists.

As I began the tire changing process within spitting distance from Oreo’s triple-wide, Big Tom began recounting their latest encounter with Oreo, an incident which concluded with Don attempting to perform unnatural acts on the canine with his recumbent. I missed that one. But, then Big Tom set it off. He said, “Don came undone.” Of course, this causes Chief to launch into “She’s come undone…” And, being a bunch of drunk-addled old farts, we could make out half of the words of the song, but couldn’t remember the band. Chief is no help.  He knows too much, and his connections are too diverse. And then he gets off on these Hermann’s Hermits sidetracks and shit. It was driving me crazy.

We were racing a storm back into town, so I picked up the pace. Then, I almost remembered the band name. It was The Something Something. I knew it. When I pressed the pace, It came in more clear. So, I hammered at the front, and held my breath, pushing my heart rate up near max. And then it came to me, The Guess Who.

I don’t know. I’m thinking of trying this autoerotic asphyxia stuff now. I may recover some memories or something.

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