Archive for August, 2009

Autoerotic Asphyxia and Memory Recovery in Aging Males

August 30, 2009

I think it was Oreo’s fault. We were doing fine finishing off a nice group going through Giant City, Cobden, Alto, and Pomona. Trippin’ back from Von Jacob’s I hit a brick in downtown Pomona and  flatted, near the trailer of Oreo, demon dog from hell. Oreo has two confirmed bites on cyclists, eighteen calls to Jackson County Animal Control, but is still often on the loose and looking to bite cyclists.

As I began the tire changing process within spitting distance from Oreo’s triple-wide, Big Tom began recounting their latest encounter with Oreo, an incident which concluded with Don attempting to perform unnatural acts on the canine with his recumbent. I missed that one. But, then Big Tom set it off. He said, “Don came undone.” Of course, this causes Chief to launch into “She’s come undone…” And, being a bunch of drunk-addled old farts, we could make out half of the words of the song, but couldn’t remember the band. Chief is no help.  He knows too much, and his connections are too diverse. And then he gets off on these Hermann’s Hermits sidetracks and shit. It was driving me crazy.

We were racing a storm back into town, so I picked up the pace. Then, I almost remembered the band name. It was The Something Something. I knew it. When I pressed the pace, It came in more clear. So, I hammered at the front, and held my breath, pushing my heart rate up near max. And then it came to me, The Guess Who.

I don’t know. I’m thinking of trying this autoerotic asphyxia stuff now. I may recover some memories or something.



August 13, 2009


Wow, it was kindof hot in KC. Good thing I didn’t try to race bikes or anything like that. Dave and I made the long drive to KC, and it was quite an experience. I loved the courses on both days, I only wish my ah, form, was more suited to the conditions. Normally, I would have had a hard time finding a better race for what little talent I sometimes have–Saturday was a power course, a race of attrition style crit. Sunday was a technical figure 8. I’ve done some of my best races on similar courses. Not this time. Dave did a lot better, and scored almost in the money on Sunday. Danimal took the juniors, and banged heads in the pack on both days in the 3’s.  Darrell Bratton arrived on Sunday and did the 40+.,  while I skipped the early race and did the 3’s (to no avail).

I’ve never done the Tour of KC, since it’s situated on the calendar right between my major professional meetings and our wedding anniversary. But, this year, I’m skipping the meetings, and the race was the week before our anniversary! Too bad the road race was cancelled.

Former Macker and all around great guy Clark Priebe was on hand. Clark’s done some great races at KC, and he was the main man animating the 1-2 crit on Saturday. Totally awesome! Clark caused the main split, and did everything he could to get the win. In the end, he was scored 11th, but I think he may have been 8th…

Great to see Gary Dyer, Dodd Slawson, and Dennis K. making the moves. I’m still overwhelmed by the competition this year. Janne Hammelein and Dave Henderson lapped the field both days in the 40+. 

Dave says I need to take Growaset(R), and become a Cub’s fan.

Update: Congrats to Robert Kron and Justin Armstead for taking big wins in Grayslake!!

Elk Hunt

August 6, 2009

Congratulations again to Robert Kron, taking 4th in the Cat 1-2 35+ masters race at Elk Grove! Since when is Chad Cagle 35+?! Holy carp, I’m getting old. Great job by Uncle Gary, and by Jeff Williams and Mark Tank in the 3’s. Probably others I didn’t see as well. I’m off to the Tour of KC this weekend! Not much racing left, so I’m hoping to not suck. Lots of Mackers will be racing up north in Indiana. I’ll be hanging low, doing graduation, having my mom visit, and starting the semester. Ah well, there’s always cross….