I managed to drag Molteni away from his taping and painting yesterday. We did a nice little road ride down Old 51 and up into Alto Pass. We decided it was time for refreshments, so we bombed down 127 towards new Jackoffs, where Doug and Sharon were playing. About a mile South of the destination a little prick (see picture above) in a black Jaguar buzzed us, coming less than a foot away from us even though the other lane was totally free and we were riding the white line as best you can at 30mph with a tail-crosswind. As we approach Jackoffs, I can see that the Jag has pulled into the parking lot, which was pretty full. We pulled into our usual front door parking spot, and Mr. Micropenis approaches Molteni and gets in his face “do you have something to say to me”, the little prick blathers. He repeats his little drama to me, and I reply “Actually, you came dangerously close to us for no reason, but I didn’t say anything.” He gets up in my face and tries to act like he’s bigger than his 5-foot-nothing, and proceeds to call me a boy. “I’m older than you, dude, I just look better. And, Illinois has a new three-foot law that started this January, you might want to observe it.” At that, we followed him into the building. We were greeted with the usual wonderful hospitality of the Von Jacob’s crew, who immediately said “Cave Creek?” and proceeded to serve us–while ignoring Mr. Micropenis (who walked in ahead of us). Doug and his percussion buddy came up to say hi, and talk about our riding….Mr Micro didn’t stay long…..
After we thought about it a while, Molteni and I came to the conclusion that Mr. Micropenis probably believed we had pulled into Jackoffs expressly to kick his ass, or at least confront him about his dangerous driving. I hope he felt like as big of an asshole as he is when the fourth employee came up to greet us–you’re the outsider prick here Mr. Micro, not the guys in spandex.